03 July 2011

http://www.tricycle.com/blog/forgiveness-meditation-instruction


ep One—Remorse
See if you can get in touch with the remorse of going against your own heart—that by holding onto resentment you are hurting yourself more than the other person is hurting you.

     Step Two—Resistance
Picture the person you feel resentment toward and try to breathe their image into the area in the center of the chest. If you feel resistance, don't try to force it; just stay with the physical experience of resistance as long as it takes for the resistance to soften. This might take numerous occasions of doing the forgiveness meditation for this softening to begin to happen.

     Step Three—Surrender
Ask yourself: Can I surrender to what is? Whatever you are feeling—whether it is hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness, or fear—try to stay with the physical experience of the emotion. Label any strong thoughts that arise, but keep coming back to the body over and over. Gradually try to breathe the painful feelings into the center of the chest on the inbreath, until they can rest there without struggle. This step may also take a fair number of practice sessions.

     Step Four—Forgiveness 
Silently say the words of forgiveness.

[Say the person's name],
I forgive you.
I forgive you for what you have done,
Whether intentionally or unintentionally,
From which I experienced pain.

I forgive you,
Because I know that what you did
Came from your own pain.

Return to this meditation as many times as you need to until the words of forgiveness come forth naturally from the heart. At that time, the words are no longer tools to help nurture forgiveness—they are simply a verbal expression of your genuine openhearted compassion.

 


--
"Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all."

28 June 2011

so lazy

I have done nothing for the last week but sit and watch televison and sleep. I haven't felt so well any way. AArrgghhhh my gall bladder hurts so bad at the moment. but you know there isnt really anything that i can do about that at the moment. Oh this break from studing has been pretty nice. my brain has been on over load for the last three weeks, oh my brain is so fried. I welcome this great break to just sit and do nothing, before I have to write a couple of papers...oh the papers.


--
"Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all."

24 June 2011

wow I really terrible at this!!

I dont know why I decided to start a blog, but I have tendicies to forget that I have one and leave it alone for long periods of time. I have recently discovered that I have a blog again and have decided that I will now faithfully...hopefully...start blogging on a regular basis. 
 
I just finished with the most AMAZING, thing ever! I just finished a 3 week study aboard in Ireland learning about the troubles. What  a growing experience. I learned so much not only about the troubles, and the effects to the generations now but also learned so much about myself. I never thought that I would be affected in the way that I was. First off there was just so much information...I read over 7 books the month before we left and 3 the three weeks taht we were there, also there was so many presentations and class work. It was pretty over whelming. Then there was the emotional side. Hearing all the personal stories of the things that happened to people. Not only reading it but hearing it from the people was just so touching and heart breaking there were times that I just wanted to break down and cry and just wrap my arms around them and hug away all of the hurt and pain. Then the spritual side. The whole trip gave me the time to think about alot of things.  some of it where things that I thought that I had already dealt with or even forgot that I had issue wih. A lot was from when my mother got sick, but one of the major things that I reliezed was that I dont really know who I am. I've never really had the space or thought through the time to find out who I am and what I really want out of life. It really surprized me that just a day of thinking brought so much hurt and pain and questions that I have with myself.
So I'm now seriously thinking of moving out by either this time next year or sooner...mostly I need to find the funds to move out which is really holding me back. But I am planning on making some BIG changes in my life. First off I AM going to be more out going and social this semester in school. I am working on getting to 11 stone...1 stone = 7lbs you figure it out...I plan on dying my hair and maybe getting a piercing. Yeah I know what rebellion...I'm lame but this is about all I can think of doing at the moment. I really really really am hoping that I can move out and start to really figure out who Pam is. I'm kinda excited. This could be fun. I WILL also keep this blog more up to date, because other wise what is the point of keepingit.
On major change that I really really need to work on is my Hate toward Cameron and my mixed feelings toward Sean. I have stopped writting Cameron and plan on taking some reflective time to really focus on forgiving him but prolly mostly myself. And Sean I dont know what to do about him. I just...I don't know but I will figure something out.
anywho I will definitely post later
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02 July 2010

Sometimes





So do you ever have though days when you do or think of so ething and wish that you hadn't. Well it tends to happen to me all the time and I don't know bow to fix it i guess I just need to stop over thinkng things it's starting to rule my life. Does anything ever work out the way that it is supposed to I. Your head? I tend to over think things and it never works that way. So I finish summer semester and I only now havene class left and I'm done with my associates degree. I'm so close I'll have it at the end of fall along with half of my history core finshed. I'm so excited I'm so close to bing done with school. Now all I need to find is some college friends. I really need to start being social.

06 June 2010

So Tired!!!!

I am so tired I have spent the last week sleeping o. The couch. I am so sore. I want my bed back but that isnt going to happen until the English leave. I hurt so bad. It's terrible. We wnet and hiked timp yesterday and I'm so out of shape that I just about died on my way up. I just Burt everywhere know. I think that everyone of my muscles are tight from about my neck all the way down to my calves. My back needs to be popped so bad but that isn't going to happen until my muscles loosen up ittle bit. And that could take a couple of weeks. I'm such a terrible person I'm writing this in the middle of fast and testimony meeting. It's horrid if you really think about it I prolly should be paying attention but teay I have no desire to I have a hard time listening to these people because I feel that the aren't really that sincre. OMG I just heard a god and theatre reference!!!! That is the most ungodly thing in the world!!! I don't care what production you are putting on of you want to meet some of the scumiest people i the world go visit a theater.
I hate single wards fast and testimony meetings. With out fail they always go over and always involve tears atthe weirdest things. But what I absolutly hate is the fact that with out fail there are people who sit and make fun of those that bear there testimonies on random things.

04 June 2010

OMG

I love this iPod it is amazing I have no stop played with it since I got it. It is just amazing I love it!!!!




Hhs

Scene one duke is moaning over Olivia  And sends other to check and
she what she is up to Olivia Has vowed that no one will see her face
for seven years for the death if her brother

Scene two violia iuliria is hoping that her brother is alive and
hasn't drown. She is curious about the island and finds out that the
duke is moaning over Olivia and is an orphan and wants to work with
her. He tells her that that won't happen and viola decides that she
ships become a eunuch in his court.

Scene three the uncle of Olivia and her maid are taking about Olivia
and how she disapproves of the way that he conducts his life and tries
to hook her up with all of these weirdo. Toby the uncle Is a drunk and
so is the friend. The friend comes and the start taking about their
lifes and both are drunk. They joke about marrying and fucking her.
The rest of the scene comic relief and really has no Point the res of
the story

Scene four viola is in the dukes court three days and already is one
of the dukes favorites. He has given her all of his secrets and as
that she is so close he sends her to olivia to woo her for him. The
duke sounds like a pining love sick teenager.

Scene five the clown and Maria are arguing in a room of Olivias about
where the he'll he has been. He us about to loose his Jon because he
has been gone for so long. Olivia and
Malvolo come in and are talking
With the clown Olivia is not happy with him and calls him dishonest.
The clown turns it around to help himself keep his job. He tries to
prove that olivia is more a fool than
He is.  His proof is that she moarns her brother that she believes to
be in heaven. Malvolo agrees that Olivia is a fool. Viola shows up at
olivias. Is pissed that the duke has sent an other. Toby comes in and
they fight over his drunkeness. Malvolo comes in and says that no
matter the excuse that Olivia give she has to talk to her. Olivia
agrees to let violia in since she is a man cub.  Viola comes in And
talks with Olivia and gives her loving sentiments from the duke to
Olivia. Olivia at first doesn't want to her the message since it is
from the duke and couldn't careess what he has to sAy to her. Violia
insists that the two of them have to be alone to hear this lovely
message from the dukes love. Olivia unveils her face for her. The two
talk about her great beauty that can not be copied. Olivia wishes to
know the depths of the dukes love in which she will not give and now
wants to know about violia. Olivia seems to think that the violia is
interesting.
Olivia give malvolo a ring to violia and that he can come and talk
with her again tomorrow.

Act two scene one
Tony and violia are talking. Tony wishes to be the trusted man
serevant of violia. Here we Learn that violia and her brother are
twins and that triely believes that he being her brother may have
drowned.

Scene two
Malvolo catches up viola to give her the ring that Olivia says he
dropped. Which we know isn't true. Violia relizes here that Olivia is
in love with her And wants nothing to do with the duke

Scene three
The uncle and his drunken friend go on as you may think with their
drunkeness. The clown comes in and males fin at them. They pay him to
play them a love song Maria comes In telling the to be quite or
malvolo is going to have their heads and joins the gayity. Malvolo
enters and scoulds the uncle for his drunkeness and tells him that he
would not be living here if he where not family and may as well be
kicked out if he doesn't straitem up his act. Nobody in the house
really like malvolo and Maria a d the rest decided that to get back at
him for being an ass they are going to write him love letters that
look as if the are coming from olivia.

Scene four
The duke is still bemoaning his love for Olivia and wishes that violia
was ba k so that he might hear of what olivia has to say about him. He
sends for a clown and has him sing a song of love for him. Viola
returns and shares with the duke what she has learned about the fair
lady Olivia. Violia tells the duke that there is no way that Olivia
will ever love him and that he needs to get over her. Then in a round
about way she herself confesses her love for theduke.

Scene five
The uncle and his friend are chilling out in Olivias Garden and want
to know if Maria's plan is in motion and even if it has worked.
Malvolo comes down the way so she is not able to tell them what has
happened. She had sent him the letter and it seems that it worked.
Malvolo comes over and brags about how soon he is going to be the
husband of Olivia and a count. He leaves and the group males fun of
him for how stupid he is to believe thAt Olivia would ever want him.

Act three scene one
Viola is talking with the fool in olivias garden. We fond that the
fool is not really such a fool and that violia is very smart and
wittty. The fool also works the two house golds he sings for both the
duke and olivia. Viia isearned she can speak a d understand Latin.
Olivia shows up a d the two of them go for a walk in the gardens
whereas we find out that Olivia wants violia for herself and could not
careless about the dukes love for her because she does not share it.

Scene two
Uncle and his friends tall about how Andrew is going win over the lovely olivia

Scene three
Sebastian olivias brother shows up with friend anthony and the two
part ways? But not with our finding
Out the two are looking for violia and Sebastian will not rest without
finding her. We also learn that his compainion is a wanted man in the
place that they are traveling. He gives Sebastian his monies just in
case something is to happen to him.

Scene four
Back at Olivias. Malviolo comes info to a room with Olivia. Olivia is
nervous about what she be feeding and what she should do with violia.
Malvolo hits on Olivia with his yellow stockings and drops hints about
his note that he receved he believes from her. His sentiments are I
terupted with the arrival of violia. Olivia give viola a necklace with
her picture so that she can always have her with her. Violia let's her
know that this is for the duke and that she can not where it.  There
is a plot to make malvolo truely mad than what Olivia thinks that he
is. Anotino who split ways with Sebastian ends up at olivias house by
the dukes men and violia comes out and antonio mistakes her for her
brother and is dented that the two k ow each other and that she infact
does not have his wallet to pay for his release.

--
"Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really
like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black,
white, Chinese, everyone - that's all."

02 June 2010

Look two in one day

Mahahahahaha!!! Lookt I'm posting to in one day I think I like posting this way it's very fast and easy. Although I was for awhile carting around a mini laptop but this just seems so much easier
Well expect more from me latter

Laters